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Living in a gender mixture

By Ruth Rose

Living in a gender mixture

PHOTOGRAPH by Sharon Kilgannon, Alonglines.com

People have got to recognise that there are those who are living in a gender mixture, rather than either male or female decidedly.

So, it’s better that people who say, “Well, I wonder if that’s a man, or I wonder if that’s a woman” are not being too bothered about it. Because I’m not bothered and if I’m not bothered why should they bother? I don’t generally go around saying “Look here, I was a man,” or something. I say “Well, you know, you probably realise I’m transgendered” and they say “Yeah, we thought so” and that’s as far as it needs to go.

We’ve got public opinion to change and that basically is only done by example. It can be done by us being out there in front of people, not in any way pretending to be something we’re not. I live as a woman, I get treated as a woman, I’m happy as a woman. My friends in every way respect me as a woman: but I’m still out there. People still see me, and some people say, “Well, that’s not a woman”. I don’t want them to have a bad opinion of somebody they think is not a woman. I want them to have a good opinion. I don’t mind that they think I’m not a woman, I mind that they think bad of me and that’s the important differentiation. I don’t want to have to pass in every single case, it’s not possible. You can’t fool all the people all of the time, but you can make a good impression on all of the people all of the time and that’s the important part of it and, if we all do that, then society comes round and says “These people are nice people”.


This is Ruth's testimony in Chapter Four (Coming out, self acceptance, bravery, visibility, style) of the ground-breaking Brighton Trans*formed book.

To read more intimate, heart-breaking and heart-warming stories from transgender people, click here.

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This page was amended on 19/12/2014
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